Self-love isn’t easy. We all have our ups and downs and need to remember that self-love is a lifelong practice. Self-love is the act of being present and attentive with yourself no matter what. It is being truly honest with how you are feeling in every breath. You don’t have to like who you are, how you’re acting, or what you are doing in every single moment. The aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, are ashamed of, or wish to ignore reflect our relationship with our “inner child”. Building a healthy foundation for self-love can be found in practicing acceptance, respect, awareness, knowledge, and trust with ourself.
Let’s start with acceptance. We need to remember to be gentle with ourselves. Practice being kind to yourself no matter what comes up. Negative self-talk is one of the hardest things I have realized come up for me. The constant doubt in yourself, thinking that you aren’t doing enough, you don’t have enough, or that you aren’t good enough is what prevents us from living our truth and attracting the life we are meant to live. Try changing the narrative to “I am enough, I have enough, I do enough” and see what doors open.
Respect. We need to have enough respect for ourselves in order to set healthy boundaries. Learning to say no when you don’t want to do something is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves. Why wouldn’t we put ourselves first? It is only disrespecting ourselves to tolerate something you don’t want to be doing. Prioritize YOU! If it isn’t a yes, then its a no. It is easy to fall into a people-pleasing pattern and neglect your own needs. Learning to put yourself first and find your voice is priceless.
Awareness. It is key when it comes to self-love. Being self-aware is a skill that takes time and growth. Before reacting to a person or situation, take a moment to think to yourself how you feel in the present moment. Meditation and breath work are techniques that are amazing in learning awareness. These skills can allow us to observe our inner world and reflect on what is going on around us before we react to a situation.
Knowledge. We aren’t born with all the answers, knowledge is only gained over time. Discovering parts of ourselves and getting to know our truth is one of the highest forms of self-love. Who you are in any moment can change. Give yourself permission to be someone different today than you were yesterday. Reflecting on your core values can be a tool to get to know yourself. What is most important to you in this life?
Trust. Releasing the need to control the behaviors of those you interact is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Allow others to have their own experience and trust that they are on their own journey that is beyond your control. The only person you need to be in control of is yourself. Trust that you are safe to express yourself, regardless if others don’t approve. If people like you—great! If they don’t, that’s okay too. Remain true to yourself. Trust that your body is always sending you signals. Listening to our physical body allows us to deepen our relationship with ourself. Check in with yourself on how you’re feeling in the present moment.
Remember: the art of self-love is a lifelong practice, so be easy with yourself and take it one day at a time. You don’t have to like yourself in order to love yourself. These principles help build a baseline of self-love to set ourselves up to have the best relationship with ourself. Many people believe that motivation is the key to success, but it all comes back to being your best self, which requires a lifelong practice of self-love and ambition. It requires acknowledging that you’re doing the best you can in the present and demands that you never stop striving to grow and become even better in the future.
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